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What ever happened to the good ol days. I remember when you'd be load'n in and the first thing off the truck would be that old brushed alum. Genii. It wasn't old it just looked that way. It maybe had only been dropped 5 or 6 times....this tour. It still worked. A thing of beauty as it meant we would not be using the old wooden A-Frame. (And personally I loved pushing the button and riding it up and down.) It was so great, but then some idiot, not a professional stagehand mind you, somehow went over in one. I heard about outriggers soon after. Yeah, they were those things that we always left on the truck neatly tied up out of the way. Pros like us didn't need to waste time with outriggers.

Next thing, another moron somewhere far away goes over and is killed or worse. Yeap now we gotta unload the greasy old outriggers and we'd lean them up in the corner out of the way until load out. What a pain. You can't use outriggers in a theatre. Or so we thought!

Then one day, I don't know what happened, maybe someone like Ron Hunkiewicz remembers the details, I guess some guy who wasn't an idiot almost went over, or did, this time right here in San Francisco! I think it kind of scared everyone. So as professionals we started using the outriggers the best we could, and placing a man on each one I guess as a watchful eye and human sand bag. We had such great bs sessions standing on those outriggers. Until the guy up there, shouting over our chatter, would ask to be moved on or off, up or down. We rolled him around just like we did with the old A-Frame. You know, with the center extension to the highest rung, your legs weaved through the rungs to hold on and free your hands and the totally custom built wheeled X brace, tied on with strings. That ladder on wheels saved so much time ...we all looked like stars. Now with the lift, we were looking even better. And then we went back to story time until bucket boy wanted to move again.

Well the more observant readers will remember about ten or fifteen years ago now, how the personnel lifts got new fangled electrical switches that required that the outriggers be in place before the lift would go up and down. It wasn't much of a challenge to bypass these interlocks, not that anyone I know did. They came off the truck that way! It really just meant we didn't have to screw down the jacks, cuz you could really spend all day doing that!

OK, next some babies must have died or something, because it seems like for the last five or so years all the lifts have safety interlock devices that work. Safety stickers that would be clear to a three year old have became more prominent too! You know the ones, its like a drawing of a man at the base of the lift and one man in the bucket. The ground man is pushing on the lift trying to move the lift while a person in the bucket is extended. Just like we've been doing everyday for the last twenty years. And then there's a red circle and slash indicting as the words printed below also state DO NOT do this...blah blah. So now they're trying to tell us we can't push guys around in the lift like a Roman in his chariot anymore? Does this mean we really have to take a few seconds to lower in the lift before we move it.

Where's the A-frame, this is taking to long.

I was completely flabbergasted (for real dudes) at this latest development when for the first time my department head instructed me to comply with these rules. I laughed and said "dude, we're professionals, we push people around all-the-time. What are you thinking? Going up and down is gonna make it take forever. We've got to get these lights focused now." He got really serious and made sure he had my attention and said "These rules are written in THE BLOOD (big dramatic pause and jowel shake) of your FELLOW man (again) and are not to be taken lightly!" (Fellow retards, I'm thinking. All those warnings, they don't apply to me! I use to hang off the top of an A-Frame) The boss continued, "If it takes a few extra seconds to go up and down, the wise employer will appreciate more, the attention to safety, rather than the needless savings of a few minutes blah and all the associated risks blah." I'm all "whatever-lawyer/insurance-goon dude." We did it the new right way and to my amazement it really didn't take any longer to do it that way.(And, I got to push the buttons and go up and down more! he hee! I'm a kid again!)

Well I've been thinking about it ever since. And you know I'm really starting to think the entire lift industry is right and pushing a person around in a extended lift, outriggers or not, two feet or twenty in the air, genius or moron, is really quite stupid and pointless. We are really only doing it because of the old A-Frame on wheels work around, so the guy didn't have to climb up and down the ladder to move it deal. I wish to be the first to say I'm not doing it anymore. I'm ready for this next evolution. I've recovered from my flabbergastation and realize it's not a big deal to do it the recommended way. Think about it and please join me. Safety First!

Joe Heid

PS if you liked this one I'll tell you about the history of smoking in the workplace next holiday.

Dear Joe,

Let me be the first to say you are so full of it. You really got all the facts wrong. How can you write so much about stuff you clearly know nothing about. However, I think I got your point. Next time someone asks me to move the lift when the man is still up there, I'll be walking away to the bathroom to be sick thinking about the next guy who goes over's hospital bills. Come on down and then we'll move you.

Have a good weekend,

Joe

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